Editorial notes
A year ago, in our kitchen, I looked up at my wife and drunkenly said, I think I’m trans. I had never said the words out loud. I didn’t know how else to unburden myself from the weight they carried in my head so I tumbled them out like rocks into her hands. She knew what to do with them as much as I did, and so they continued to tumble, awkwardly, clatteringly. Eventually, I cut my hair. I borrowed her clothes, her men’s clothes. And it felt good, it felt complete, it felt like coming home.
tender joint
Sun Park
Sun Park
Note: this essay includes descriptions of bodily pain.
After a sharp, electric shock pain in my finger joint, I made up my mind to see a doctor. The swelling had started weeks ago, shifting from visibly puffy fingers to itchy redness around the joints. At first, I thought it was a bug bite or an allergic reaction. Pollen, food, something passing. Then one morning, I woke up with severely swollen fingers, the pressure squeezing my joints, pressing against my bones. The pain was piercing, like shards of glass lodged in joints or a ball of needles rolling around under my skin.
After a sharp, electric shock pain in my finger joint, I made up my mind to see a doctor. The swelling had started weeks ago, shifting from visibly puffy fingers to itchy redness around the joints. At first, I thought it was a bug bite or an allergic reaction. Pollen, food, something passing. Then one morning, I woke up with severely swollen fingers, the pressure squeezing my joints, pressing against my bones. The pain was piercing, like shards of glass lodged in joints or a ball of needles rolling around under my skin.
on soft cinema
Harry Bayley
Harry Bayley
Staring blindly at the screen, scrolling through the fifth Family Guy x Subway Surfers TikTok in a row, there is a moment of overlap. Our subway surfer Jake almost appears to be running through the Peak District as the two videos and my interests collide. For a moment, I wonder if there is some kind of poetic potential within the TikTok machine.
This conversation between Yuka and Sarah begins with the concept of “home body.” This term differs from the common idiom “homebody,” which generally refers to staying at home. Instead, “home body” here serves as a conceptual term with which to explore what it means to inhabit the body as one’s home, and acknowledge the present felt sense of the body.
